The poor taste in electoral options and the inability to smell a rat are thought to be symptoms of a nation gripped by COVID-19.
SectionHealth
‘The Science’ revealed to be a 37-year-old alcoholic in Brentwood
‘We are taking our lead from the science, who is leaving us slurred voicemails’
Comprehensive list of exercises that are now absolutely fine
As part of its crystal clear new guidelines, the administration has lifted the exercise limit.
“Proud patriotic British bodies will not fall victim to French COVID-19” says crap epidemiologist
Arrivals from France will not be subject to the 14 day quarantine, since a silly French virus is no match for big strong British people.
Social distancing to be rebranded COVOIDANCE™ in move that will definitely clear up all confusion
Say hello to COVOIDANCE™, the clear, concise and utterly unproblematic new brand to help us COVOID™ COVID and the associated crippling economic recession.
Seriously ill COVID patients ‘were not alert enough’
New medical research suggests that people who are given to ‘drifting off’, or who are just laid back, are at greater risk of coronavirus complications.
5 getaway inspirations for the bank holiday weekend
You’re not in government (so not allowed to defy lockdown rules), but you can still enjoy a 5☆ staycation.
Inspiring! This man is making masks out of used wound dressings
This hero businessman has worked out a way to turn hazardous medical waste into profit!
So cool! This pharma lab dropped everything to make a vegan-friendly hand sanitiser
Oh my days! Finally a hand sanitiser without bacon bits.