Government calls out ‘number fiddling’ by nations that use intelligent government action to reduce mortality rates.
The strange, inexperienced and mostly male cabinet only got really fired up when it discovered it could draw a pair of breasts with its emergency powers.
Bob Morris, 53 from Preston, produces around 50 litres of artisan gin in his shed each week. Normally, he gives much of it away to friends and sells the rest in local shops.
An extremely credible politician has reminded the public that nothing is ever her party’s fault.
The PM, like Grimes and Elon, will name the child after his own clever achievements.
Maxton and Cathrin Dollop-Smith, both 22, have returned home after spending two nights in a tent outside a McDonalds branch that isn’t scheduled to open.
Abigael (8) and Declan (6) have raised £4,000 in support of a local food bank, which is amazing because it will provide much-needed meals to those less fortunate, and also because you no longer have to.
The activist a takes well-earned break while once-skeptical old men are panicked to find that the planet is doomed.
Intensive support from by overstretched nurses has deprived Johnson of a Homeric ascension.
Residents have reconvened a Black Death era peasants’ league to help eject outsiders.