Oh, thank God: small children raise money for local food bank so you don’t have to

By Keith Sokol

Abigael (8) and Declan (6) have raised £4,000 in support of a local food bank, which is amazing because it will provide much-needed meals to those less fortunate, and also because you no longer have to.

Skitterphoto Pixabay License

The selfless siblings have been bouncing on their trampoline for up to 6 hours per day, which has inexplicably raised £4,000 for a great cause.

The reassuring achievement comes at a time when giving’s never less been less inconvenient – donors no longer have to visit a website or anything difficult like that. They just cycle between the three social media apps they normally cycle between and enter their PayPal information – which you still somehow managed not to do.

Now that the kids have solved this issue fully and completely with no need for support from others like you, they plan to restructure national debt by climbing up the stairs on all fours as fast as possible.