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The Pangolin

The Pangolin

SectionWorld

The ‘world’ is a controversial idea pushed by experts and elitists. At its heart, it’s the idea that there are ‘non-British’ places and people.

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By Ernie Chess22 May 202023 May 2020

European Commission finally decides that there is a crisis

In an adjoiner to a Green Paper submitted for review by the Sub-Committee for the Appointment of a Steering Group Facilitating Actionable Deliverables in Fiscal Stabilisation, the EU has accepted that the collapse of the Lehman Brothers and subsequent credit crunch is a very real crisis, and they must start planning a unified response.

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By Ernie Chess7 May 20208 May 2020

Low-mortality countries ‘cheat by using competance’ says government source

Government calls out ‘number fiddling’ by nations that use intelligent government action to reduce mortality rates.

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By Anna Lugosi7 May 202010 May 2020

‘China should have acted sooner on UK coronavirus response’ says MP

An extremely credible politician has reminded the public that nothing is ever her party’s fault.

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By Ernie Chess6 May 20206 May 2020

“I’m loving the time off really”: Greta puts her feet up while the world grapples with a new existential crisis

The activist a takes well-earned break while once-skeptical old men are panicked to find that the planet is doomed.

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By Ernie Chess3 May 2020

North Sea oil platforms will demand rent from workers

“We consider ourselves more of an alliance of freelance oil artisans,” one taxpayer-subsidised oil exec said.

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By Anna Lugosi2 May 20202 May 2020

Texas and Georgia unearth new reserves of delusion

Emergency stocks of realism will no longer be needed in the lockdown-averse US states, after fresh veins of delusion were discovered yesterday. 

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By Anna Lugosi28 April 20209 May 2020

“China created the virus and, er, released it on itself” says conspiracy theorist

Dedicated, self-appointed internet detectives unearth self-destructive nihilism at the heart of China.

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