Texas and Georgia unearth new reserves of delusion

Emergency stocks of realism will no longer be needed in the lockdown-averse US states, after fresh veins of delusion were discovered yesterday.

Following widespread protests over lockdown conditions, prospectors in Texas and Georgia have located previously unknown reserves of delusion, allaying fears that the states might be forced to tap their emergency supplies of practical realism.

“It’s a great relief to us all that we can continue to pump out delusion, regardless of the circumstances”, a spokesperson said. “We’re confident that everything will be brilliant, so long as it’s drenched in an enormous pool of raw delusion.”

Last week it was reported that citizens dosed with emergency realism found it had an unpalatably bitter flavour and raised questions about their nation’s unique aversion to the characteristics of a twenty-first century welfare state.