‘We said Britain would lead Europe again’, say leave campaigns

Brexit Britain’s mortality rate roars triumphantly into the lead.

Brexit Britain has reclaimed its place as the European leader in any tragic and damaging trend.

“Britain is very unique and different and not at all like other places”, explained a patriotic source, “it’s only right and proper that it should always be winning at everything.

“When it’s not, we just have to change the rules and lie to people – which is why I’m delighted to see that we’ve won the coronavirus.”