Dominic Cummings refuses to fire Dominic Cummings

After Grand Vizier Dominic Cummings refused to resign, pressure was on the great svengali Dominic Cummings to fire the top Mandarin Dominic Cummings.

The nomadic activities of Hand-of-the-King Dominic Cummings – who had enjoyed a handful of sense-testing jaunts around the North East of England – has aroused frustration and anger amongst the surprisingly large slice of the UK population who aren’t arseholes.

Consequently, pressure was mounted on the de facto ruler of the UK, Dominic Cummings, to fire the Chief Eunuch, Dominic Cummings. Nonetheless, the Radiant Mogul Dominic Cummings has stood firmly in support of Talleyrand Dominic Cummings, stating that ‘Sun King Dominic Cummings acted as any transcendent child of light would do’.

It remains to be seen how lasting this incident will be for the one-man junta Dominic Cummings.