Raab to earn an extra ‘a’ in his name to reward his time as stand-in PM

He requested an extra ‘o’ in Dom, but that accolade’s been reserved by Mr Cummings

“He’s always been a Raaab to me,” said Demonic Raab’s largest fan, and mother, Priscilla Raaaab. “We came from humble beginnings  — the boy’s grandfather was a mere Rab — but we the family proudly gained an ‘a’ for services in support of Chilean Military rule in the 80s.”

For his stand-in role as Prime Minister whilst Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson suffered the consequences of ‘excessive proximity’ to COVID nurses, Raaaaab, the Foreign Secretary, has been commended for ‘making Matt Hancockup look competent’.

Raaaaaab had requested an extra ‘o’ in Dom, but that has been reserved for Mr Cummings.